I’m fat. I’m really fat. You know that BMI chart (I hate those by the way)?
Well I’m solidly in the red zone (morbidly obese). The thing is, I didn’t feel morbidly obese. Yes, I’m meaty. I made myself believe that I was okay with that, until….
I couldn’t keep up with my son. Yes. It’s very cliche but so very true.
I was totally cool sitting on the couch reading or watching television- or i was playing Farmville or The Sims. My job didn’t even require too much stamina (75 minute lectures 1-3 times a day)– I only felt the effect when my asthma flared up or I put in a lecture hall with a bunch of steps ( I walk when I lecture).
However, I didn’t like have pictures of me taken. I didn’t like to leave the house. I purchased my clothes a size too large so they didn’t cling or ride up. I constantly refused invitations to go out and dreaded when I had to attended company functions for my husband.
Even with all of this, I ate junk, ate late, and ate a lot in a single sitting. I would actually order (for delivery of course) 12-piece chicken and Jo Jo boxes, knowing that my husband doesn’t like left over chicken or chicken with bones- need only eat the Jo Jo’s… so I’d order extra Jo Jo’s so I wouldn’t have to share. The box of chicken would be gone in less than 24 hours.
I had tried diets… You name it, I’ve tried it. Nothing kept me motivated (and the fertility treatments and miscarriages didn’t help my mindset at all). I tried working out- but either injured myself ( found out that was a mental block) or felt judged at group classes.
When our son arrived, it still didn’t matter. Not until he was 3 1/2 and could run really fast.
One day, he broke away from me at home and darted towards, and into, the street. I couldn’t catch him. He stopped at the main road because I was yelling at him, thank goodness; but if he had run into the street, I wouldn’t have been able to save him if a car was driving by. That FREAKED ME OUT! So, I started doing little things, decreased my calories researched different ways to lose weight. Bought pills. But I really didn’t know where to start.
Then, a friend asked me to be on a marathon relay team. I said “no”, of course. How could I run over 3 miles? I couldn’t even climb the stairs without being winded. But eventually I agreed, after she said it didn’t matter how slow we were and that we could walk if needed.
So that was the start of it. I walked and jogged a little most days every week leading up to the race. I tried jogging, but couldn’t even last 30 seconds. A single mile of walking was torture. But eventually, my walking speed increased and so did my distance. I finished my 3.5 miles of that race, that was this past September (2015). Then, I signed up for another race, and then another.
I also signed up with a gym that offered small group personal training sessions- it was a little pricey, so that only lasted 4 months. But it was enough. I knew what types of workouts to do and I was starting to lose weight. So, I joined the local YMCA.
I try to run/walk 3-4 days a week. I use the equipment at the Y, and I track my food and calories in an app. And I ZUMBA! I am part of a wonderful group of women at all stages of fitness. We support and encourage each other.
In the last 6 months, I’ve lost 25 lbs. It’s still a struggle (I’ve plateaued for the last 6 weeks), but I’m still motivated-most of the time. I’m still 75 away from my ultimate goal (which is still 40 lbs heavier than the BMI says I should be — what evs).
What has changed? My confidence. My stamina. My activity level. My motivation. I’m doing this for me, but my family benefits.
Instead of driving to the local park, my son and I walk there if it’s not too close to sundown. I can run around with him more… I still get winded after a while, but I can almost keep up with him. Apparently he’s just really fast for his age.
I’m a happier wife and mom. I may never win a race, but I’m improving the quality of my life. This is my journey, my time, my pace.
Until next time!!!
BTW… I’m registered for a half marathon in June!!! (I’m still in denial, lol!)
Pictures from the past 6 months, from September to March.